The Day I Destroyed All My Paintings

I bet your wondering what Tree Bitch means.

I ran into a tree during track in the 8th grade. I got a gnarly scar on my face that faded over time. All the boys in school called me Tree Girl. I now lovingly call myself Tree Bitch. This is because Tree Girl grew up and is one fearless bitch.

I also have superheros in my head. I 've been trying to write a book for them for years. They all were nice to me, including written "Tree Bitch". At Fairhaven, a residential facility for eating disorders, I spent all my time on a hammock talking to the characters. Jeanetta the alien came to me whlle I was bathing to say I have a universe in my head. I got out of the bath, put some clothes on, and ran around bragging about my universe. Then one day they put me on medicine. They all turned on me including Tree Bitch. I was at Lakeside in Tennessee early during my Fairhaven stay when I tried to kill myself with a pencil over it.

I'm taking back the name.

To hear voices. This story is personal and the only reason I'm telling it is to help people who see things. One time, while I was trying to sleep, celebrities kept appearing in my room, asking to steal my ideas.

"What are you going to do next?"

 I finally and groggily said, "I'm going to stick a knife up my butt and twist it. Hacheeha. Plagiarize that."

I closed my eyes and it happened. All these young women gutting themselves. I saw it. I wasn't trying to, I just saw if. Closed eye hallucinations.

 

I didn't think it was going to happen and I needless to  say, I was disturbed.

Up until then, I only saw Mine when I closed my eyes. A place in space. Red desert highway and blue desert sands. It was my special place. When I saw people gutting themselves it was around January 2019. I wanted to cry. 

A few days later, I destroyed my paintings. I thought these celebrities in my room were astral projectionists. People leaving there physical bodies so their spirits can spy on people. Every spiritual topic on Facebook has hurt me besides Christianity. I was in my studio above the antique mall when it occurred to me that these projectionists could be spying and stealing my painting ideas. I decided to scare them away by taking a sharp object to the majority of my paintings. Paintings that look this:

I  have been reluctant to make art ever since.

The main astral projectionist who will go unnamed took a bow after I destroyed the paintings.

Today, I hopefully start painting again. I'll be brave. After all, I just took a DNA test. I'm 100% Tree Bitch.

C.J. Glatzel is an artist and poet from Pewaukee, WI. She has been published in Poschino Press, Tipton Literary Magazine, and Bramble. When she's not writing, she's painting or fighting schizophrenia.